


in an ideal world

by cold_century



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Christmas fic, Drinking, F/F, in which alex realises first impressions can be misleading
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-07 11:57:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cold_century/pseuds/cold_century
Summary: In an ideal world, Alex Danvers would not be spending Christmas Eve curled up on her couch, watching trashy Christmas movies and drinking whiskey from the bottle. In an ideal world, she would not be doing those things alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set in a world where Maggie and Alex live in the same apartment block and, for reasons they don't even understand, they don't exactly see eye to eye... but hey, it's Christmas, things change, right?

In an ideal world, Alex Danvers would not be spending Christmas Eve curled up on her couch, watching trashy Christmas movies and drinking whiskey from the bottle. In an ideal world, she would not be doing those things alone.

However, as she had come to learn over the past few weeks, she did not live in an ideal world. She lived in a world where her girlfriend of three months ditched her the week before Christmas. She lived in a world where she had called Kara in tears, telling her she wouldn't need the extra seat at Christmas dinner, telling her that she was alone, _again._ She lived in a world where she threw popcorn at the television screen when, inevitably, the guy got the girl and kissed her under the mistletoe.

She would have quite liked for Christmas to just pass her by this year. She had grudgingly let Kara decorate her dingy apartment and then in a drunk rage a few nights later had torn down most of it. Kara hadn't said anything when she had come to see Alex the next day, but as soon as she saw her sister's face, Alex felt guilty.

She was tired of being surrounded by happy families, tired of Christmas cheer, tired of seeing couples ice skating every time she wanted to go to the damn bar. The 26th could not come soon enough for Alex. She just wanted some peace and quiet.

Tonight, however, she wasn’t destined to get her wish. Halfway through her fifteenth watch of _Love Actually_ , there was a loud, rhythmic thudding sound coming from somewhere outside in the hallway. And a voice, swearing at the top of their lungs, and there was no mistaking who was shouting. Here was the excuse she needed to vent some anger.

Alex storms over to the door and throws it open with such force that it bounces back off the hinges and almost hits her. She sticks her head out into the corridor and sees her neighbour furiously throw her phone at her own door, kicking it in a rage.

“Hey!” Alex shouts and Maggie whips her head around. “Cut that out!”

Maggie scowls at her, picking up the now broken phone, pocketing the pieces.

“Sorry,” she says, her tone biting.

“What the hell is your problem?” Alex asks her, folding her arms. It’s no secret that her and Maggie have never got on from the moment Alex moved in two months ago. The reason behind the dislike however, was less clear. A cop and a federal agent living in the same building was bound to cause some problems, and if Maggie saw her as a threat, then Alex was going to revel in it if it wiped that stupid smirk off her face whenever Alex passed her in the hallway.

“None of your business,” Maggie fires back, picking up the large duffle bag next to her, rummaging through her pockets, trying to find her keys.

“Going somewhere?” Alex asks.

“Not anymore,” Maggie says shortly.

“I think I’ve got a right to know why you’re making so much noise at nearly ten at night,” Alex says.

“Why? Am I disturbing you all alone in your flat?” Maggie says and Alex flinches, but then something catches her eye. Maggie looks away, but not before Alex notices the tears that have fallen down Maggie’s face and it shocks her out of her annoyance. Tough cop Maggie Sawyer crying was not something Alex thought she would ever see (unless she came good on one of her promises to kick her ass from here back to Nebraska after Maggie nearly dented her motorbike).

“What happened?” she asks, the anger in her voice replaced by the shock. Maggie laughs harshly, turning away.

“Flight got cancelled,” she mutters. “It’s stupid.” She knows Alex has seen her tears and wipes hastily at her cheeks before looking back at Alex. “Go on, laugh, I know you want to,” she sneers but Alex has never felt less like laughing.

“Were you going home?” she asks instead and Maggie nods.

“For the first Christmas since I came here,” she says. Alex takes a deep breath.

“That… well, that sucks,” she says, surprising herself with how bad she feels for her neighbour and Maggie sighs. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

Maggie hides her surprise at Alex’s words well.

“If it makes you feel better, my Christmas isn’t exactly living up to expectations either,” Alex says with an empty laugh.

“Great, I’m already busy feeling sorry for myself, now I gotta feel sorry for you, too?” Maggie says, but there’s humour, if slightly dark, in her tone. “I hate being alone this time of year.”

“Me too,” Alex says. This is the longest she’s gone without shouting at Maggie in any conversation with her and now that they’re standing in the corridor, actually agreeing on something, well… maybe Alex can admit that Maggie isn’t as bad as she first seemed.

Maggie runs a hand through her hair, fumbling in her pockets and pulling out her keys.

“Sorry for disturbing you,” she says quietly. “Have a good night, Danvers.”

“Wait,” Alex says before she can stop herself. The idea came into her head without her even wanting it to, but now it was there, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. “Look, I know it sucks being alone at Christmas, and I know there are probably a million other people you’d rather spend it with, but… do you just want to come inside for a drink or something?”

Maggie actually takes a step back from the surprise of Alex asking her. She looks rather lost for a second, and very briefly, before Alex can even hold on to the feeling, there’s a lightness in her chest at the look Maggie is giving her.

“Oh… I dunno…”

“Come on,” Alex says. “What? Are you scared you’ll start to like me or something?”

Maggie laughs for the first time in Alex’s company, not at her, but with her. Her dimpled grin is enough to let Alex know she’s made the right choice in asking her; even if they never had seen eye to eye before now, it didn’t mean things couldn’t change.

“You don’t have to take pity on me or whatever,” Maggie says.

“Your loss,” Alex shrugs. So no, ideally, she would not like to spend the evening with Maggie Sawyer, but at the same time, she does feel sorry for her. Alone on Christmas Eve, feeling let down and slightly lost, was no way for anyone to spend the holidays, no matter how annoying they could be.

Maggie hesitates, but there’s a sparkle in her eyes that has nothing to do with tears.

“Fine, I guess I’ll come in.”

Alex stands back, holding the door open for Maggie as she steps inside, putting her bag down by the door.

“You’re welcome,” Alex mutters but Maggie catches it and her usual glare is slightly softer than normal, a brightness in her eyes that Alex has never noticed before. It makes her heart beat slightly faster in her chest.

“Thank you.”

Alex tells herself the slight pull in her stomach she gets when she looks at Maggie is because she’s alone. She’s still reeling from the shock of being dumped a week ago, it’s just heartbreak controlling her emotions. Hell, she’s been so used to feeling that way when an attractive woman looks at her that she’s just stuck in the habit. The whiskey probably hasn’t helped either.

She pulls herself away from the situation, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and the whiskey from the coffee table.

“You can sit down, you know,” Alex says, gesturing to the couch. “I haven’t set a trap.”

Maggie sits at the opposite end of the couch to Alex, taking the glass when she hands it to her.

“I have beer if you don’t like it,” Alex says, sipping her own refilled glass.

“It’s fine,” Maggie says, the tension in her shoulders visibly disappearing as she drinks, looking somewhat relaxed. “Needed something stronger than beer.”

“Well you’ve come to the right place,” Alex says, laughing even though it shouldn’t be something to joke about, not when she’s come so close before to losing everything she has to drink. She’s certain she would never let herself slip that far again. “So why was your flight cancelled?”

“Bad weather in Nebraska,” Maggie says, tapping her fingertips idly against the glass. “It always snows there. Don’t remember a Christmas when I was a kid where it didn’t.”

“Good job it never snows here,” Alex says. “I hate it.”

Maggie laughs.

“You hate snow?” she says, raising an eyebrow. “Are you one of those people who hates marshmallows in hot chocolate too?”

Alex doesn’t answer, smirking into her drink at the look Maggie gives her.

“Jesus, Danvers, do you hate joy?” she says and Alex laughs. “I know you’re a fed, but you’re allowed to be happy.”

“By all means, point me towards the happiness,” Alex says, draining her glass and picking up the bottle. “Could use some right about now.”

“What’s with you?” Maggie asks, quirking an eyebrow again at the amount Alex pours into her glass. “Some NCPD detective get all up in your jurisdiction?”

“My girlfriend broke up with me,” Alex says more harshly than she intended to, determined not to look at Maggie even though she can feel the detective’s eyes boring in her head.

“Shit, that’s rough,” Maggie says. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Alex shrugs even though it most definitely is not okay. “I didn’t expect to be alone at Christmas. Or for a while after, actually.”

“She was that great, huh?”

Alex laughs through her nose, swirling the amber liquid around her glass.

“I thought she was,” she says, her voice hitching slightly. “Turns out I’m just a deluded idiot.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Maggie says. “I know the feeling, trust me.”

“Really?” Alex says sceptically.

“Oh yeah, I’m always going for the wrong girl,” Maggie says and Alex chokes on her drink. She can’t say it had never crossed her mind that Maggie wasn’t straight, but for her to be so open about it in front of someone who, up until now, didn’t like her, was surprising. Alex runs a hand over her face, trying to not let alcohol cloud her judgement which she already considered very poor. Maggie nudges her arm with her elbow and Alex looks up.

“Hey, it’s her loss,” Maggie says, clinking her glass against Alex’s.

“I’ll drink to that,” Alex says with a short laugh, her stomach tightening at the hidden meaning behind Maggie’s words.

“So what are we watching?” Maggie says, looking at the paused television screen, taking the bottle from Alex’s hand.

“ _Love Actually_ ,” Alex says, barely keeping the disdain out of her voice and Maggie scrunches up her nose. “You don’t like it?”

“Not really my thing,” Maggie says.

“Let me guess, you’re more of a _Die Hard_ fan,” Alex says. “Go on, what’s your favourite Christmas movie.”

Maggie sips her drink, looking thoughtful. Alex can’t help but notice the way her eyebrows arch slightly, half smiling as she thinks.

“ _Home Alone_ ,” she says finally. “Or _Elf_.”

“ _Elf_? What are you, ten?” she laughs, then remembering it was Kara’s favourite too. Then again, she expects that from her sister, but not from Maggie.

“Hey, it’s a good film!” she says, grinning. “Better than this crap, anyway.”

“And you said that I hate joy,” Alex says, but her laugh doesn’t quite come out right; she doesn’t’ have much time for happiness these days.

“You’ve got a tree, I’ll let you off,” Maggie says, gesturing to the small tree in the corner of the room, the lights reflecting in the window. “More than I’ve got.”

“You didn’t buy a tree?”

“Well, didn’t think I was gonna be here, did I?” Maggie says, putting her glass down. “I was heading to Nebraska until two hours ago.”

“Sorry you’re not there,” Alex says. “This probably isn’t making up for it.”

Maggie shrugs, smirking. “First impressions can be wrong,” Maggie says. “You’re not half bad company, Danvers.”

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?” Alex laughs and Maggie just shrugs again, draining her glass.

“Sure, though the drink helps,” Maggie says, but she stands up and Alex knows their brief time together has come to an abrupt end. “I better go, leave you to watch your movie.”

“You don’t have to,” Alex says before she can stop herself. If someone had told her she could stand to be in Maggie Sawyer’s company for nearly half an hour, she’d have probably punched them.

“Thanks for the offer, but I need to try and get a really early flight tomorrow if there’s one going,” Maggie says. “Not holding out too much hope.”

“Maybe it’ll be a Christmas miracle,” Alex says and they both laugh, walking to the door.

“That’d be something,” Maggie says, with a small tilt of her head, turning back at the door and almost walking into Alex who was following close behind her as though they were drawn together like magnets. Time slows down. Alex stops. She stares.

She’s been too busy feeling sorry for herself, too busy being annoyed with the mere presence of Maggie Sawyer in her life to even notice how beautiful she actually was, the way her eyes seemed to sparkle and if Alex stared into them long enough, she would see her soul. And her smile, God, that smile, always so irritating when Alex had seen it as a smirk, but now her eyes are drawn to the dimples and there’s a soaring sensation in her chest when she looks.

But it’s just the alcohol. It has to just be the alcohol. She can’t change her mind so drastically about someone with just one look. That was the stuff movies were made of. It wasn’t real life. It wasn’t an ideal world.

But life is too short. She has to break the silence that lingers, she has to wipe that knowing smirk off Maggie’s face or else risk having Maggie hold this moment over her head for the rest of her days.

And when she kisses Maggie, when she pulls her against her by her open jacket, when she ducks her head slightly to capture Maggie’s lips in a blazing kiss, the world does seem ideal. Her constant almost obsessive annoyance, irritation, anger makes sense the moment their lips clash, and the emotions turn into something else but still all she can think is _Maggie, Maggie, Maggie._

And then the moment is over. One second Maggie is pressed against her and the next, she is standing there, cheeks red, mouth slightly open in a way that makes Alex just want to kiss her again and again and not stop until she has to come up for air.

“You’re drunk,” are the first words out of Maggie’s mouth and it feels like a slap in the face.

“So what?” Alex says defensively. Even sober she’s sure that she wouldn’t have stopped herself.

“You’re heartbroken and you’re drunk, and I’m gay and I’m here, but… we can’t,” Maggie says and somehow this feels worse than the actual breakup. “Tomorrow you’re gonna wake up with a headache and you’ll go back to not liking me and the world will keep on turning.”

Alex laughs, shaking her head.

“You don’t know that, you don’t know how I’m feeling,” she says, her heart still pounding in her chest from the kiss. “Life’s short. You should kiss the girls you want to kiss.”

“Not like this,” Maggie says shortly, shaking her head. “Not like this, Alex.”

Alex stares at her, dumbstruck. She feels sick, whether from the situation or the alcohol, she isn’t sure. Either way, she wants Maggie Sawyer out of her sight before she starts crying. In fact, she wants her out of her sight for good because the rejection is too painful for her already broken heart to handle.

“I should go,” Maggie says quietly. “I’m sorry, Alex.”

“It’s fine,” Alex says, looking anywhere but at Maggie, at the pitying expression on her face because if she does, she’s going to get angry.

“I just want you to know,” Maggie says. “That if things were different, if you weren’t days out of a relationship and sober, then… then I don’t think I’d have stopped you.”

It’s not a goodbye. It’s adieu. It’s a what-could-have-been moment and Alex wishes she could rewrite history and make the choices she knows would be the same when she was sober and not drinking to forget her ex. It would just be easier to go back to not liking Maggie. That’s impossible. In fact, it seems impossible that she ever hated her in the first place.

Maggie picks up her bag from the door and turns back to look at Alex.  

“I hope I’ll see you around, Danvers,” she says, smiling. Alex attempts to smile back, and she can’t find her words. The door closes behind Maggie and Alex slides down it, head in her hands, her stomach churning.

She’s alone again.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the less than happy ending (I'm not sorry). I would continue this if creativity and motivation could find me... in the meantime, if you want to hit me up @alexdavnrs on tumblr to talk Sanvers, feel free!


End file.
